KCCreations

Bridges were broken, we tried to mend, not as strong before, but we can pretend. There are too many cracks and too many gaps. How do you expect me to walk on this bridge? The trust isn't there, afraid to stray from the edge. The past is the past, but this can't possibly last. Drifting apart, don't know where to start... When did you stop caring? I'm starting to wish I never did. Maybe I will leave, despite your plees... The world I know out here cares for me more than the world I fear in there. Where people can see and hear, you are so friendly, what a dear, but when no on watches, you care not for me, only what's in your pockets, why can't you see? I wish you would see me for me, keep your opinions to yourself. Your judgments, your arguments, your anger, your truths. They are not mine, I did not ask for them. I am my own person, human being, and creature. I ask not for love or understanding, I know I'll have neither. Just want you to stop the torture....the lying...the hatefulness. Treat me like a friend with your heart in your hands, not with your mind and your wretched commands.

So, I've been gaming a lot on the computer (playing LoL) and like it a lot but it takes up so much time :/ Shelton and I are going to be moving by the end of this month to a bigger house here in Springfield and we will be paying even less which is just awesome. I finally got my wedding ring resized! XD Shelton's mom Teresa and I will be going to an art show in Bolivar on September 7th so I'm pretty excited about that but I'm a little nervous about getting more artwork finished to take with me. Hopefully after we move I will find a way to get to work and not let distractions suck the life out of me Anyways, I have to work 3-11pm tonight :/ I've had a four day weekend off work so it sucks having to go back to work lol My little brother, Andrew, turns 6 today! We celebrated his birthday this last Saturday at Skateport. He had a superhero themed party and I went as Raven from the titans. Unfortunately, I was the only adult who dressed up lol Andrew went as Superman but then again so did the other kids. Sadly, there were only two kids (the weren't family) who showed up. He invited a girl from school (his best friend) but she wasn't able to come because she was in somebody's wedding that day and it was even more sad because it was the first birthday party she'd been invited to He had fun though and that's all that matters I'm in the middle of working on a Spiderman painting he's been wanting since Christmas I know...I'm a horrible procrastinator. *sigh* Anyways, I'm excited to move into this new house. We've been painting the walls of the living room and one of the bedrooms (all we had time for) and they are turning out okay. The neighborhood is WAY nicer than where we are at right now so that's a definite bonus Oh, and I'm sad because about 2 months ago, I had accidentally left my memory card for my camera in my computer and it got bent so I have to get another one. Other than that, I can't think of anything else to say so I will ttyl people! Lots of love and thanks to everyone who likes my works and supports me everyday! <3 XD

It's been a while...

Well, as far as art goes, I've been very crafty these last few months. I made a few string lamps, bows/ribbon hair accessories, spoon roses, and more. I have recently started getting back into charcoal drawing. I think I like it more than painting but not sure. My grandma is wanting me to paint her a picture of something to put above a set of doors but I am still waiting for more details.

Work. Well, still the same unfortunately. I have applied at one place since finishing my latest resume, not including registering on a job finding site. No progress so far. So for now, I'm still working at McDonald's.

Relationship. Shelton and I are doing fine. Sometimes, I feel like we don't see each other enough due to his school and our opposite work schedules. It gets rough. I recently starting making payments towards my debt from the wreck I had a while back and with all this money I owe for that, school, and whatever else, I'm stressing over whether or not we should get married this next year. I have yet to buy him a ring (though we've looked at plenty) and I can't even wear mine yet (despite talking about getting it re-sized every payday). It's just stressful. I'm trying not to worry about it because it's not for another year but it's difficult when I'm sitting at home alone most the time. He's been talking a lot about wanting to move to Seattle or Portland in the next five or so years. I think I would like to live in one of those places but they are so far away! So I guess you could say we are doing fine but I feel as if I'm wallowing in a puddle of stress.

I miss hanging out with my old friends. The friends Shelton and I have right now, they're great, but I don't ever get to see them so I feel distant. Other than work, I feel like I have no social life. I miss being able to goof off and forget all the seriousness of life and just relax for a few hours. The closest thing to hanging out I've had in the last few weeks is going with a coworker/friend to get a loan and then getting dropped off at my house. We had good conversations and it was fun even if it was for a little while, I just wish I could have more moments like that with people than to not have any at all. I don't have a car, (working on getting my license reinstated as well), no longer have school, and I'm stuck in the house all day or I'm stuck at work with people I'm sick of seeing. lol In all seriousness, I am just unsure where my life is going even though I know what I want out of it. The path to my goals is rough and it doesn't seem to be getting easier but I guess that's just how life is.

Anyways, a few days ago, Shelton and I made our first homemade cookies and they were delicious! XD This weather is awful. I can't wait for the gloomy stuff to be gone. I think I'm going to go ahead and doze off. Shelton gets off in an hour and I have to be back in at 7am. *sigh* When he gets here, I have to go to the store to get Easter stuff for work. UGH!

So fall is here finally. I love the moments created in the season like sharing a blanket with a loved one as you drink hot chocolate with marshmallows and a little whipped cream and watching the leaves change colors, and the holidays like Halloween and Thanksgiving. The cold is a whole other thing thing -_- lol Anyways, I would really love to finally have some pictures taken of Shelton, Tank (our dog), and I. We don't have any good pictures of us together and so I think with the beauty of this season and all, it would be wonderful to take some in the fall. The only thing is that there are so many great photographers and I can't choose one! I have also been looking at a bunch of different ideas for a future wedding but yet again, I cannot possibly decide on anything. Shelton wants to have it in the spring because flowers are blooming and it represents life and what not but I want to have it in the late summer to early fall because of the colors and how there is a big change coming. Either way they are both great but we'll see.

I'm still working at McDonald's but this last Saturday, my mom, sister, grandmother, and I all went to Pumpkin Days in Republic as "Ma's and Paws" (my mom's business). I got to paint faces while my mom and grandma manned the booth with all the goodies we all made. I even painted my sister's face to help get the people coming. It was fun but WAY TOO COLD!!! We didn't expect it to be as cold as it was and we left almost an hour early. By then, a lot of people had left. Anyways, we didn't make as much as last year because of the weather and there were several other events elsewhere going on at the same time so that stunk a bit. We have a wide variety of things that we sell though so if you'd like, you can look for us on facebook or go to masandpaws.com. I think the most exciting part of my day was that someone asked me if I did birthday parties or anything so that was cool even though this was the first time I did anything for money.

On another note, the heater went out overnight after we first turned it on which stunk but we just got it fixed last night so YAY! Shelton went and picked up Dishonered (new game) but we haven't played it yet. We are still playing our way through boarderlands2 and just got the new character Gaige the mechromancer. I usually play Maya and he usually plays Axton. Right now he's working Gaige up to the level we've been playing at. Anyways, we've also been playing Assassin's Creed II every now and then. Anywho, enough about that.

I have added on to that big canvas painting I've mentioned a few times in some last journal entries but it's been a little bit since I touched it. I also started another painting with a magazine clipping I pulled from my collection as inspiration. I can't wait to finish them but I know it will be a while before I do because I am a bad procrastinator. I think it's harder to paint in the cold too but now that the heater is working, maybe I will get back to work

There's so much I've left out but I can't think of what it all is right now My next class starts at 12:20 so I guess this is the end for now. Also, I'm sorry for how random everything is; I was just typing it all as I was thinking of what to say

Well, it's been a while since I've been on here. Probably, because I don't have internet right now really but that's because I moved. That's right. I finally moved out of my parents' house and into a house with Shelton...Who also is now my fiance. Yep. I'm also engaged. So needless to say, a lot has happened since the last time I was on here. My little brother turned 5 on June 19th and I bought him his first pair of roller skates :3 and my niece turned 1 this last Friday. Even though I moved out, I miss my family and it's kinda weird living on my own but I've just been taking things day by day. I've been taking a painting class this summer and the last day is tomorrow. I've done so many paintings that it's really inspired me to continue and practice. I have also been encouraged to paint by family friends and the like but I've never had the courage to do anything but since I had to do it in order to get a good grade, I finally think I can do it. At this point, I kinda think everything I paint is junk but I have a lot of ideas and have been splurging at Michael's Anyways, I miss my friends, like Aimee, Kirby, Jessica, the list is so long that the pictures of them all are spinning in my head like a slot machine lol But I miss them all. Oh! And on top of my engagement, my sister also got engaged 9 days after me (she didn't know about my engagement til after she got engaged) and she asked me to be her Maid of Honor. I have already bought her stuff for her bachelorette party but I still don't know what I'm gunna do yet. I'm nervous letting her do mine... lol Shelton and I haven't really talked about our plans for the wedding or anything and it's hard for me to chose an idea from the millions in my head. Anyways, My dad also started a new job not too long ago and my mom is still working on her GED stuff. I'm proud of them both, and even if they don't agree with all my decisions I still love them like crazy and I will always be their little girl. Lately, due to the summer semester coming to an end, I'm nervous about the fall. It will be my last semester (hopefully) but I have to try to find an internship. I haven't worked on any graphic design stuff or anything and so it makes me feel...idk what the correct word I'm looking for is but I don't really feel prepared. I really want to do art but graphic design has more money in it. Idk...it makes me nervous. I'm thinking about doing a lot of artworks and going to some event to sell them and seeing how well I do a few times but even then, It's hard to live on that without having a steady income of some sorts. *sigh* It's unsettling for me as well, knowing that the people I had in class are so good and are my competitors. Anyways, I'm also really wanting to try and lose weight. It's so hard to start doing stuff. I downloaded two apps that I thought would help me and now it's just up to me to start trying. I miss having awesome abs and smaller thighs lol I don't think there's anything I can do about my hips getting wider but as long as I shed some pounds I'll be happy. I hate running and if I do run, I have to have someone pushing me to do it. I have skates which I love but my feet already hurt so much from standing up at work all the time. I would like to go bike riding but I don't have a bike Maybe I can change that in the next few months. No matter what, I had better lose some weight before next year! OH!!! And on top of this painting class, I've finally been inspired enough to continue working on Rilo's painting, you know, the one that's taken me about 6 years to do on a ginormous canvas. Yeah, I've been working on it and I can't wait to finish it. It may take me a while because I really want it to look good and I want to practice my painting skills but I finally have a clear idea in my head and have been adding little by little. I can't wait to tell Rilo, but of course, I'm sure he'll be sarcastic about it and won't care until I've finished it especially after all this time but I can't wait to show him when I'm done! Well, I have to be in class in an hour and got other things to do until then so I guess I will ttyl. Love you all! Thanks for all the faves, watches, comments, and just coming to look at my page. I appreciate it greatly!